Recently I attended the funeral of my husband’s grandfather. This is my first time to be involved such activity.

In fact, among my four grandparents, now only my father’s father is still alive, other three of mine have been gone for long. When my grandma, the mother of my mom’s passed away, I was just a teenage, and my mother didn't let me attend such gathering. I have been living oversea for few years when my father’s mother passed away. I didn’t go back to China since she had suffered ALZ for 10 years over. She was a poor woman. Since she divorced with her husband in her 30’s, she had been stayed in her house alone. I still remember when I was very young, my parents take me to visit her every Sat. and we would stay there in the night. However, after she had ALZ, she became forgetful more and more by days over. Till one day, she couldn’t recognize anybody, including of her only child, my father. And I didn’t visit her so often. Sometimes, I would go once few weeks.
My grandpa, my mother’s father, I can’t forget him for single one day.  At that time, I have been in Singapore for few months. One day my mom called me and told my grandpa couldn’t live for too long. I and my fiance bought the latest air ticket and flew to my hometown. I finally saw my dearest grandpa and he was not like him self. He got so weak and only left the bone covered skin. He couldn’t speak anymore. However, I did read the gratified through his eyes. My mom told me he moved his fingers often. Because he couldn’t voice out, my mom guessed he was counting the days I could come back. Few days later, he went away from us on 4am in the morning, in the sleep of mine. I didn’t see his last moment. He left and he never wanted me to see his last moment. So that I can remember his looking as he is alive for ever. My mum took a very simple and quick funeral and I didn’t go in person.
And now I experienced the first funeral in my life. According to the Chinese custom, the funeral included two parts. One was to put the body processed in a wooden coffin and kept it in a location under the flat for few days. In those days, Buddhists were invited to come and manage the funeral ceremony. Finally, the coffin would be sent to the only funeral parlor of Singapore. Different from the situation in China, during the days of coffin displayed, children were allowed to see the dead people and adults would please it to protect children from the illness and bad luck.
The real funeral took place five days later. Buddhists came and prayed for him and people sent his body to the funeral parlor. I saw the body was sent to in the burner in person. I really felt the weakness of life.
I don’t know how to describe the feeling of mine at that time. But I know I won’t forget it for ever.
After those dreamed days… I came back my real life. And the days returned to the normal… busy and insensitive. However, I know one day, I will begin the same journey.