This morning, I came back home. Sunshine looked so weak out of the windows. I sat in front of the computer and sent some resumes.

The last email I sent to the agent who is helping me to find a job, in which I showed my appreciate to her sincerely. After sending it, I suddenly felt much easier. I realize my heart was waked up by certain truly emotion. 

I had been for too long soaked in the feeling of the anger, the disappointed and the despair. It was just like a weak soul trapped in a dark and chill cave. I couldn’t hear myself and couldn’t find myself. I only saw and scared by the ugly face and sick mind. That might be the true image of the realistic world, except that I couldn’t be used to. I lost all my rationality and encouragement. So much that I even forgot how to care other’s feeling and even forgot there are ones who care me. As a result, I lost my happiness finally.

How long I have been sad, or I have kept myself in the sadness? It could be for too long already. I found I seemed have forgotten how to laugh and how to love.

People live in this world and no one can avoid to be hurt by kinds of things and other people. That can keep our faith on human is the love, the golden heart that knows how to love. How could a people who lost the ability to love others be happy and peaceful?

Now, when I think of those people who cheated and used me, I won’t feel so angry. I dare face them with the more tolerance since I became to sympathy them. Who are the poorer ones?

If tears came out of my eyes, it must be not because of sadness, but touched! I’m touched by the soft and good side of the tough life. Sunshine is not so bright, but I know sun is always there.

I’m so sorry I recently brought my families and my friends so much trouble. If this time, I failed on the practical life again, perhaps, I will never learn how to be more practical, at least the experience gave me the lesson and I could be a stronger person who has always the ability of loving people.